Ironically, the best way to use online chat rooms to find a date is by not looking for a date. That's right—don't look. Instead, treat it as the online equivalent of going to where good people are. You go to church, the grocery store or the gym for reasons other than dating. Yet when you are there, you certainly keep open the possibility of meeting someone. This is how a chat room works as well. Start chatting to have fun and make friends. If you happen to find love…that's great! But don't worry if it doesn't happen immediately—or ever.

This strategy is particularly good if you are frustrated with the traditional online dating scene. It will give you a break but still keep you in the marketplace, so to speak. Let's say you have joined a chat room about your favorite TV show. Every week there will be discussions about the previous show and the one upcoming. People will talk about the theories they have and which part of the love triangle they are rooting for. Take part in these discussions and have fun.

Eventually, chat will turn from the TV show to other things in life. And when it does—now you are part of the community. And this community may include someone whose writing you really enjoyed. Let's hope he or she is single! Using online chat rooms may take longer to find someone and require more work, but you may find a quality person who you never would've met on a dating website.